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The Late 1990's Galleries / Lobby
note: "The Late Nineties Gallery" has been separated into two unique wings of which this is the Lobby. These Galleries are a part of the 1990's Galleries at GerardPas.com. To view all "The 1990's Galleries" please click here.
The later parts of the nineties were undoubtedly the most difficult years of my life. After loosing interest in playing the game of art career, becoming despondent about the administrative qualities of teaching art and personal issues in my home life, I elected to recluse into my studio. In and of itself, going to the studio is a good thing for any artist, but locking the door on the way in to everyone or anything else entering behind you is certainly suspect to ones state of mental health. While I was productive throughout these years, my work was obsessive and I lacked the perspective to see that I was becoming ill and sinking into what seemed like an abyss of depression. Initially motivated by not caring about having exhibitions or concerned of what others might have thought of me, I used these otherwise admirable characteristics to shelter myself, not so much from the world of art, but from dealing with issues which demanded my attention and from which I wanted to flee. Depression is a strange and pernicious monster which sneaks up on you - if you're not careful or do not have others who care enough about you to see the signs and warn you, it will slowly consume your identity until one day you're no longer recognizable, even to yourself. What a great height healing seems from the pit of despair, but it's there and if you have access to the resources, healing is not an unattainable for anyone. For me I went to my doctor in 1999 and informed him that I seemed to be engulfed in a cloud which would and had not dissipated for sometime. Through medicine, I was able to lift that cloud and see the issues and through the care of psychological counselling, in particular my analyst Sally Cozens, I was able to deal with the issues and slowly work my way back to a healthy perspective of my situation. The road to healing is not an easy sojourn but it's a worthwhile one, as with all things which have merit they're worth working for.
Nevertheless, the issues discussed in my art during these times are meritorious enough that I feel I could even say they may well be the most provocative works I have ever made. Not so much because they are somehow paradigm shifting examples of the avant-garde but because they were simply motivated by a desire to take as much time as I needed to say the things I so wanted to scream to the world. With no deadlines or outside pressures these works speak from my heart and each of these major pieces are true labours of love.
While the paintings took me so very long to do, each of them literally scraped with the head of a pin, I came to realize through them that though I am a part of society as an artist, while I might see the ill's of that same society my ability to perceive those social tribulations does not make them my own. "I am the mirror and not the reflection!"
paintings begin with my anthropology of the morass of our 'get ahead society
at any cost' society, crawling over each others back to get to the proverbial
top. For what? There's no summit experience in reaching those goals alone.
Yet we motivate ourselves with facile platitudes such as "It's lonely
at the top". If it's so dam lonely, who wants to be there! As a mountain
/ rock climber, I had learned that very few of us get to the top without
support. Life and success are not much different. I for example know that
if I have achieved anything in this life, it is because I am standing
on the backs of others to gain that height. Be it my God, wife, parents,
children, friends and professional colleagues: they are all standing there
holding me up, a foundation. So I painted "Sisyphus'
Descendants (click for a 64 kb. Flash Movie)"
to convey the irony of the Greek myth of a man so filled with conceit
that his punishment was to roll a rock to the mountain top and watch it
roll down only to be forced to roll it up again in perpetuity.
this time I have had some years pass and in hindsight while I never wish
to be in that place of dark foreboding solitude again I did learn from
it. As an artist it motivated me to return to New York and through the
love of my friends and family I learned that as an artist it is better
for me to reach for joy, as pain always has a way of biting me in the
ass anyway. This is not said with a dark sardonic cynicism but rather
with hope, the same expectation which motivates my work today. We must
reach for joy in the same way that it is better to light one candle than
to sit and complain in the dark.
Gerard Pas - May 2002
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Links to points of interest: * Note: "Some interesting links which relate to the works of the late Nineties or the above text. I have included links to some religious sites because they offer an excellent resource on Saints, I am in no way attempting to proselytize or convert anyone in using these links they simply are what they are an excellent resource. Gerard Pas - Learn more about depression at www.feelingblue.com. Take a quiz and see if your a candidate for help from this disorder. Learn various methods of how to deal with depression and several other modern illness which seem to plague our society such as anxiety, OCD, etc.
This is an excellent site with ample resources. If your feeling blue then you you should visit feelingblue.com (this site is in both french and english).
"Check out their Quicktime Movie on their Depression Information page! I personally think it's very informative and provides a realistic perspective on the topic. Just click here for that page." G. Pas
- Take New York University School of Medicine - NYU, "Online Depression Screening Test" - Read and get literature on Depression at NIMH -National Institute of Mental Health, U.S.A. - Learn and read more about the Greek Myth of Sisyphus. - Learn and read more about the Greek Myth of Phaethon at Mythography, an excellent resource on the Myth and lore of the principle European influences of our western culture. - They actually study business people for "Lonely at the Top" feelings or emotions. I found this resource (which I thought as an artist) interesting enough to include in these links. A bit dry but you'll get the point. It's called " IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP: EXECUTIVES' - EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SELF [MIS] PERCEPTION" at /www.eiconsortium.org. I'll let the site speak for itself but this is serious stuff. - Learn everything you ever wanted to know about Catholic Saints online at www.catholic.org or as it's otherwise known "Catholic Online" of course. - Learn all about Celtic Saints. As you'll see from Gerard's work on the Saints there are many strong Celtic influences involved in the composition and design of his works. While his Saints are generic and not specifically any particular saint this page does offer some interesting info on Celtic Saints. - See the Microsoft Outlook Stationary Gerard designed using his Saints motif. - Download a copy of Gerard's above stationary for your own use. Simply install it into your Outlook or Outlook Express and send letters to your friends using it.
If you need help installing this stationary we'd love to help, just write us at email@example.com and we'll send you complete instructions.
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